Thursday, February 4, 2010

Like Death Warmed Over

I honestly feel like I look like death warmed over. I am so pale. And white. And feel so yucky.
I thought this medicine was helping. But I don't know... Some days it does, and other days I feel so horrible. Like yesterday, and today. Today was a little better than yesterday, but still. I feel so LOUSY. I can hardly even open the fridge, let alone cook a decent meal. Today I barely made it through cooking some broccoli and a chik pattie for the kids and I before I had to make a dash to the bathroom, unable to take it any longer.
Please tell me that this isn't going to last for 7 months like it did with Hannah!!!!!! PLEASE!
And please tell me that my clean home awaits me in Tennessee. My clean, odorless home where I can reside with just my little family only. And furthermore, please tell me that I am going home next week and not in March. PLEASE!!!!
Oh well, guess it didn't work.
I want to take the kids to the beach tomorrow. But I don't know if I can do it on my own. My blood sugar drops and nausea hits and there I'll be, with two kids, white as a ghost, unable to drive home?? I don't want that. Oh dear. I don't know. But tomorrow is supposed to finally be a nice warm day. And then yet another "cold" snap and rain.
I want to go to the grocery to actually GET food TO cook, but I can't! Last time I went I broke out into a hot/cold sweat and it was all I could do to get through the checkout line and get the groceries into the car. I had to sit in the car with the a/c blowing full blast on me while I ate a muffin (or something!) until I had enough strength to drive home. I don't like this. I don't like it one bit.
I'm trying to hold my chin up and do good and be a good mom and make it through this, but I am so tired! And so hungry! And I don't know what to eat!!!! LOL! I'm pathetic! And how do I get color into my face? How do I eat all the wonderful things that I know I should be eating while I'm pregnant, when I feel so yucky that I can barely get down a cracker sometimes? I always have these big ideals of what I'll eat when I'm pregnant so as to assure a fine healthy baby. But then nausea hits and pretty much you just scarf whatever is given you that you can manage to stomach.
I recently told someone-you've just got to look at the "end product" and think of that. I guess I'd better take my own advice, huh? In the end, I'll have a sweet little baby that will once again keep me up at nights. Once again I'll have a to deal with first time illnesses, fevers, colic, gas, feeding troubles, you name it. And new to me-juggle three kids instead of two. Deal with sibling rivalry over who's getting the most attention and who feels more loved than the other and on and on it goes. So. Here I am. At summer's end, I will be the proud and tired mother of 3 wonderful children. And I don't know what to expect in the least. But I'm sure I'll make it. Some how. Many a mother has done it before me-right? *BIG GRIN*
Ok. I feel better now, somehow. But I'm still hungry. And I still don't know what to eat. BLAH.
Night all.

4 comments:

  1. OOOOOOooooooooh. I hear ya. Thanks for making me remember. Mommy brain can make me so forgetful. I'll be keeping that birth control very close. hehe

    I really hope things get easier for you soon. You need a mom to help take care of you. If only. =)

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  2. You poor girl! I wish I was closer to help out! Have you had your blood sugar checked? Maybe it's gestational diabetes?

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  3. I hope you're feeling better this weekend!!

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