"And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything in His name, He hear's us..." 1 John 5:14
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of the Father who heareth, and it shall be given to him..." James 1:5
"Ask, and ye shall recieve, seek and ye shall find, knock, and the door shall be open unto you." Matthew 7:7
These several verses have been swirling in my mind as of late. To me, these verses are power packed promises of Christ's willingness to be there for ME. Yes... little ole me.
At day's end I crawl into my bed, between soft, cool covers and I sink my weary head onto my pillow and I wonder....
What did I accomplish today?
Did I make any impact at all in the lives of my children?
I feel like I am the biggest failure ever at this motherhood thing....
I feel like I'm defeated.
When I talk to people, I feel like many of them know a whole lot more than me and I feel very much "unconfident" in the whole scheme of things...
Do you lack confidence?
For me, the answer was yes. I most certainly did. Oh, of course there were "feel good" moments where I felt on top of things and like I had a "voice" out there, but in many ways and on many occasions, I felt like I was just a little blob of mom, just waiting to be squashed, by someone, somehow, sometime.
One night I lay there and I contemplated all of this (aren't night's such a nice time to think? all is finally quiet and dark and still and we can finally hear ourselves think)
And in this stillness I began to pray:
"Lord, I want your confidence in my life. I feel sort of dry and empty. I feel like I lack authority. I feel like I'm a failure and I am feeling sort of defeated right now. I feel unconfident in my role as a mom and a housekeeper and a wife and I honestly just don't know what to do. I want to feel confident! Where can I get this confidence?!"
And out of the stillness, this verse popped into my mind (it is such a wonderful thing to hide God's Word in your heart while you are young! For it is used on so many occasions later on in life to encourage and to bless, not only us, but also others) "THIS is the confidence that we have in HIM, that if we ask ANYTHING according to His will, He will hear us." 1 John 5:14
Yes! Yes! Yes! My confidence is in HIM!
My confidence comes in asking HIM for help and for guidance!
My confidence is ONLY in HIM.
We can ask HIM for anything, and we are promised that He WILL hear us. We don't have to do this motherhood "gig" on our own. We have an Advocate. We have a Confidant, and He reigns in the Heavenly courts. He is the Great I Am. He knows your soul like the back of his hand. He made you. He bought you with a price. He redeemed you as His own. He loves you like you've never been loved before. And HE is your confidence. In Him alone can we trust fully and rely fully upon.
No one ever said that motherhood was an easy task. (though we may have thought so before embarking.... ;) We may feel all alone. We may feel awkward and out of our realm at times, but listen friends, this thought has been a tremendous blessing to me: Jesus is my confidence, and if I fully rely on Him, placing my burdens upon His shoulders, asking His advice on every point in life, placing my inadequacy at his more than adequate feet, I need never feel unconfident again.