We've had a rough day and all we want is for our husbands to come home and snuggle up with us on the couch. Hold us, love us, tell us how special we are and how proud they are of us and all the many things we accomplished during the day.
But instead, they walk in the door, tired, grungy and full of dirt or grease, sweaty, looking all worn out. They head straight to the shower to clean up, barely offering a hello. And suddenly, we begin to feel resentment. He didn't even notice my tired looking eyes, my sagging shoulders and my frazzled hair. He must not care about me! The least he could have done is to give a cheery smile and offer a peck on the cheek! Why, he didn't even take notice of his favorite supper all set out on the table waiting for him...
And we begin to fume.
..."But when I CHOOSE to look at this relationship through the eyes of love, to take the thought or attitude captive, I can get perspective." ~Desperate~
Sally Clarkson, in her coauthored book, Desperate, goes on to say that we need to take in to consideration the reasons of the actions, to not take these things personally, but rather give thought to the fact that our husbands have hard days too, they are tired and just like us, they want to feel loved too.
When we choose to let go of our own feelings and cover that person with grace, our feelings of love usually follow. And suddenly, we begin to think of ways that we can serve, rather than to be served. We begin to feel empathy and want to hear about his day, rather than being so impatient to share ours. When our thoughts turn in that direction, the possibilities are endless.
Instead of a whole evening stewing about what didn't happen, we can delight in knowing that we did what we could to make our husbands feel loved and cared for. Chances are, in the process you will feel loved too. :)